Transcript: Event Ninja Podcast: How to Develop a Mental Six-Pack

hello hello we are live are we hello everyone my name is dami i'm your host and i am strategic event ninja at run events today with me is julian welcome thank you damir nice for having me i'm happy to be here yeah the reason why are you here well i lead strategy at run events run events is software it is an amazing event management platform i could go on for days how amazing it is but it is just a piece of our whole vision to improve the life of event managers. It means that not only software, but we provide guidance, we provide a lot more. And one of those pieces is trying to think about what can really help event managers be better in their job. We should really take a moment to appreciate the life of event manager. They are part magicians, part high-end sportsmen, and to be honest, therapists at some point in time. They are constantly stressed, and they deserve better. One of the things that they could really, really... use in their daily life is something that you are an expert is and for everyone who joined us Julian is a mental fitness coach and a creator of mental six-pack so Julian can you tell us a bit about what is a mental six-pack So obviously you were sending me some pictures in advance and the most important one is what is a mental six pack? And of course I can give you many definitions, but I try to explain it a little bit in words and images that might leave a good impression. So mental six pack obviously includes the mind, but also the six pack, which is usually associated with the body. But I would say there are three elements, the mind, body and the spirit or so to say your soul so a mental six-pack is the mind which you have trained to be sharp like the sword and clear as still water so basically the ability to seeing things as they really are and no illusions blind your inner vision but also to be decisive and to act with focus, think with clarity. Then we have the body, the second part, which you can also train. You should train because it's your vehicle. Let's say the foundation for the mind is in the body. So you want to have a body that is actually hardened like armor. So trained, you want to train your body, but at the same time, you want to be flexible like the bamboo. So you don't want to be stiff because, same attributes that your body is made of or let's say the same way that you train your body your mind will be if you have a flexible body you will have a flexible mind if your body is sick or stiff you will have a sick or stiff mind so a body that is ready for whatever comes for whatever hits this is what i want to have and the most important thing the spirit your soul So the soul is for me, literally the driving force, number one, your driving force. You notice feeling when something, you know, is sparking, is sparking your energy. You think about something, a project, a destination, a human, another human being, and somehow it fills your body with drive, right? And this is coming out of your soul because your soul tells you this is the way to go. So I want to have a spirit that is burning like fire when my mission or when destiny is calling. And I want to have a soul that can be also cold as ice when the storm is raging around you in the event management, when hell breaks loose. So basically to use the spirit as source of universal power. So the mental six pack consists of a mind of the body and the spirit all aligned. Well, I, share my personal experience and why i ended up with really being interested in that is in europe we are all raised in a very similar way we end up thinking that the center of everything is of mind everything happens with our brain mindfulness everything is a thought if we have a proper thought we can solve everything so we solve thoughts with thoughts we always focused on our mind so i was lucky to travel a bit and i was in china and wanted to really took a proper tai chi course qigong and i was so bad i was really not understanding what i need to do and then they explained me the whole theory whole philosophy behind that and then it made a click in my approach i was wrong i was focusing on my mind and i said you should focus on your breathing on your breath this is what drives you this is what gives you an energy and what we do is we want to create the balance between your breath and your mind And I was like, okay, I never really actually thought it from this point of view that our breath can influence our mind. And then discovered this famous four, seven, eight breathing exercise that really helped me fall asleep. It's really... simple yeah breed and not breed in certain interval and this is really something and now i see that um in your case you have a full framework for actually this approach which i proved that it works in my in my life and now i'm in this industry event managers are the most stressed people uh you can imagine i was just collecting some stressful situations tight deadlines okay this one's obvious budget constraints always shareholders expectations crisis management long irregular hours communication challenges cultural challenges attention to detail changes and last minute adjustments i can go on and on and on and um to make it a bit more useful what i did is i asked quite a few event managers about mental framework and what they would ask you. So instead of me asking, I will just try to ask you some of the questions that I got. You said, while physical health often gets attention, mental fitness is less defined. We spoke about your core But given the unique stressors event planning from last minute changes to everything I mentioned, is there something specific that you would recommend in certain stress situations for event managers? Or can they use just a general framework that you described a bit? What is your opinion on that? So what are the simplest solutions for high stress environments? And there I can tell you it doesn't really matter which environment it is. If it's event managers, soldiers, paramedics, teachers, it's a business environment because you have to see the body and the functions of the body. and how the nervous system works is for everyone the same. So it doesn't really matter. So first of all, what I would recommend is understand the nervous system. So, and I can explain it pretty quickly. You have three, you can think in three different levels. So the more pressure you put on the nervous system, the lower you get. So highest level is let's call it relaxation mode, right? You can move freely. Your body feels relaxed. Your thoughts are clear. There's a little bit of pressure on your nervous system. It doesn't really matter where it comes from. You tap into the fight or flight system, which basically makes you react either nervous or anxious or even fearful. That's the flight part or a little bit tensed or aggressive or even angry and hateful. That's the fight part. So the first thing that I would recommend is to set up some red flag system. So consciousness about your own state is whenever your state of your body changes, you're getting either a little bit of anxious and nervous or aggressive, a red flag should go up and should tell you, Hey, wait a second, Because this is an important moment now. The first thing about regulating yourself under stress is knowing that you are stressed, because if you haven't practiced that, you might fall into reactivity. So it means someone is putting a lot of stress on you. Right. What I've experienced as well in organizing events, then you might fall into reactivity and unconscious behaviors. For example, someone is coming to you your client, and is super stressed. Damir, Damir, Damir, this is what's happening and we need to do this right now. Exactly. And if you mirror that behavior, like, okay, okay, okay, you fall into reactivity and you might react and you might do things that are complete bullshit. Instead, you should focus on, oh, wait a second, stress incoming, red flag goes up. Second thing you do It's called, there's a principle which is coming from Daoism, ancient Chinese philosophy, which is called Wu Wei. Have you ever heard of that? Wu Wei? No. It's basically actively doing nothing. But this principle means you step back and don't do anything in the first moment at all. So there's pressure coming to you, right? But you don't react to it, but you take a break and then you choose your response. But you don't let it happen automatically. So first red flag, then Wu Wei, not reacting at all for, you know, a little time. Then control your breathing. Why? If you take deep belly breaths, deep inhalations to the room of the belly in the lower lungs are the receptors for the parasympathetic nervous system, the relaxation mode. So when I know I'm getting stressed, I will consciously take on deep breaths. Why? Because my body in stress mode actually forces me to breathe fast because the body wants me to get energy to get, you know, more energy and more oxygen to the blood, which is per se not bad. But if you want to have less stress, then you can take control of the body like a steering wheel or like a joystick and say, hey, I'm going to regulate myself down now. I'm breathing slowly because this is the sign for the nervous system to relax your whole body. So those three things that always works. And then another little tip, because I also coach fighters who step into the ring. When you are getting stressed, you tend to go into tunnel vision. So basically you don't look left or right anymore. You focus on the target, the danger, whatever. What you want to do to get out of stress mode is to just take a look around, literally take a look around to break out of the tunnel vision that will also calm down your nervous system. I can really imagine how that will work because I can also share a small tip. There's always a situation when you talk to someone and then someone starts talking, he's louder than you. It's the same reaction is that you start speaking louder, then he's louder, he's louder. Actually, how it works is you lower your voice And then the guy stops speaking because the silence is so strong that the person is feeling unsecure and stops talking. So those are the little tricks. And I can actually see the same tricks in yours. As you say, do not react like you always react. It's wrong. React for the first time. Just take your time. Breathe for the first time. moment exactly yeah i could imagine that this moment can feel like uh eternal moment like five minutes and there's it is definitely not but yeah in such situation We spoke, so there is no industry specific stress. Stress is stress. There are always people involved in different situations, but basically the same exercises can be helpful for all of us. We spoke because you answered many questions the same, but one question was, what are the common myths about mental fitness? I mentioned one, but I think you also. A common myth about generally mental health mental fitness, as I call it, is that problems of the mind, let's say overthinking, foggy thoughts, self-doubt, fear, all sorts of negative thinking, a common misconception is that you can solve those mental problems by thinking about it. So, and I make always the example, Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, is a great role model in that sense. And he says like, so basically you have a mind who is like the villain now, right? It's treating you badly. Making negative, creating negative thoughts, foggy thoughts. You cannot see clearly anymore. So in now you want to tackle that by making the villain, the chief of police. So basically trying to solve thinking problems by thinking, and this doesn't work at all. So if somebody is stressed, angry, anxious, you tell him, Hey, relax. This is a classical example, right? So basically, what's the solution? You need the body. You need to work with the body. So when the body relaxes, so to say, you control your breathing, you relax your nervous system, then the mind calms down as well. That would be the main misconception. You need to work a lot with your body and also create, or let's say, understand emotions, develop emotional intelligence. Why am I angry? Why am I sad? What am I afraid of? Et cetera. Yes, changing the perspective can really help because sometimes we just live in our bubble. You don't look left and right and everything seems so clear. And then when you step out of the bubble, which is post event experience, when everything is done, then you look at that. Oh, God, what did I do? But in this very moment, you can't really think clearly. And that's why I think it is super important. And I was just, you know, you were speaking and there are so many memories. Like we had this COVID time, like everyone was staying at home. I was a bit less motivated, put up some weight, was not in the best shape for some time. And my wife said, let's go for a walk. And I was like, oh, I don't know. now yes and now uh I really did a lot I'm now in a good shape and now she said the same thing to me I did not change I'm the same person but this time I was up before answering and I was thinking well what changed to change my ability to uh get up basically now I can get up and my body signalize obviously my mind that this is not difficult you should not have this defensive uh thoughts so this is the very simple uh effect that your body can change your mind basically you are more i would say effective in what you do because your body supports you and give you self-confidence so that's what you say that mental think spec is not only mental it's body part as well exactly exactly i mean i mean like the another let's say negative example where you put only emphasis on body would be like a bodybuilder who has pumped up muscles but very low self-esteem so what's wrong here obviously not enough mental and emotional training because you can even use your body as a source of frustration you can get addicted to physical training as well because the thing is so you can become basically a workaholic or a workout holic and have been both by the way because that have been patterns from that are inherited from my mother in that case bless her, but it's just, it happened automatically. It was not her fault. It just happened. So basically there are a lot of happiness hormones being poured out into the body when you train the body, right? Um, so you have a, have a long-term increase in serotonin, which is like makes you feel content. You will have a dopamine boost right after training, and you can get addicted to that saying that there are a lot of people, who experience a lot of stress in their daily job so let's say high pressure event industry high pressure event industry so there's a lot of stress going putting on you which means your body is in fight flight mode a lot which means your body is full of stress hormones cortisol if you let's say add a very high intensive training high intensive strength training to your body you add even more stress So movement is key, right? To get rid of stress hormones, movement is key. But you have to listen to your body, what your body is actually needing right now. Because sometimes the movement that your body may need is slow motion movement like Qigong, Tai Chi, yoga, or even slow stretching or even a slow workout. Um, so if your mind racing and you're going to a CrossFit class also running, and then you expect to sleep well, well, I can tell you that might not be working because you're running, you're literally sprinting your body and your mind sprinting all the time. If you want to calm down the mind, you need to have movements that are calm maybe. And I love martial arts, you know, I love martial arts and kickboxing. You have a heavy bag and obviously you can. That's a great source to put out to unleash your energy. So I'm not saying that you shouldn't do those sports, but be aware of what your body needs at that moment and not just running to gym, pumping up your muscles and not thinking about thoughts or emotions because they're very important aspects. So that would be the bodybuilder who has low self-esteem. That would be the negative example of focusing only on the body. that i i can definitely uh say the same i'm going to gym regularly and the gym is full with people with very low self-esteem which means that they are very confident until someone do the same bit better And then the confidence is gone. And it's very hard to understand why. But obviously, people are having mirror version of themselves. They're not talking to others. They're not seeing itself through the eyes of others, only through our own eyes. And they have expectations. And those expectations are very, very hard. Most of us have very unrealistic expectation to ourselves. What can I achieve? What can I do? As a manager, you think you're God, as event manager, you know everything, you can do everything. And at some point, you just, I can't anymore. The stress is very, very hard. And you have to live with that. And if you are not doing something, you might burn out. And burn out is very, very common thing, unfortunately, these days. And I think the life is very fast. There are lots of decisions to be made without proper thinking. And what you said is what I learned to make better decisions is actually not to react immediately, even if you're sure this is the right answer. Sometimes the right answer is not the right answer because there's some political issue, whatever. But the issue is, Don't take time for yourself. And we have this also issue with doctors everywhere. When you go to a doctor, they're not having time to listen to you. So they are not really listening. They're trying their best with the knowledge they have. But half an hour talk with the doctor is not there anymore. So we need to do something. And to be a bit more detailed, there was a question and it's perfectly. I imagine it's the morning of a big event. And I receive multiple last minute changes and requests. Typical hell. And I'm, wow, I'm exploding. Which mental exercise would you recommend to keep calm and ensure a smooth response? All right. So the first thing is to have principles in place that help you manage those incoming tasks. So basically your mind is getting bombarded with a lot of information. You have to process them. And if you're not trained mentally and physically, you might fall into reactivity. So basically what I told you before, the nervous system is switching from relaxation mode and goes one level deeper into fight flight mode. In the worst case scenario, there is so much pressure being put on you that your brain decides the amygdala, which is the part that detects fear, that detects danger. You might even receive so much pressure that your nervous system decides to shut you down. So you tap into freeze mode. So there's an overload. And you just are paralyzed. You don't do anything anymore. Everybody of us has been in those situations where you're just stunned. You don't know what to do. This is basically you're in freeze mode. So this is the last place where you want to be. So first of all, you have to regulate again, you have to regulate your nervous system down. When you're feeling that you're getting anxious, reactive, angry, overwhelmed, take one minute, one minute and breathe slowly. Take that. Second, if you have reduced now the stress in your nervous system, follow a simple principle that I learned in a military context, which is called prioritize and execute. This is from a company called Echelon Front. They do leadership consulting out of the military for businesses. We adapted some of the principles and this principle prioritize and execute has been developed on the battlefield. When there's a lot of shit going on, things are sideways and the leader has to decide what to do. And out of a mental perspective, what we know about the mind is there's this misconception of multitasking. Oh yeah, I can multitask. Reality looks like this. You can, yes, you can do multiple things at the same time, but you will definitely split your attention, energy efficiency. So basically you're completely split your resources. It's not that you can perform all of these tasks perfectly at the same time, not happening. So the best strategy is focus. Just focus, pure focus. So what it means, prioritize and execute. Take the time, pull out a piece of paper, a notebook, and make a list of all those requirements that are coming to you at the same time, even if it's like ten. All right, let's write it down. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. And then prioritize. Okay, which is the most important? A, B, C, D. And when you have made the list, then you can execute. But don't make the mistakes to execute immediately when there's something coming in. That's what I would say. Wonderful. I was just remembering myself. We had a talk and you mentioned something you learned in Japan. I think Harakuru, you said, which means every samurai needs seven breath to decide. So from that perspective, my father would say sleep over it. It was in his time. Today, the world is much faster. I would say breathe over it. We can now establish a new trend that please do not react immediately. Breathe over it and try to calm down. And this calmness was probably... produce a better response for everyone. Exactly. So you want to train what is meant with decide when seven breaths is to train your intuition and your intuition is not your mind, it's your body telling you which way to go. Right. So obviously you have two tools at hand. You have your thinking mind And you have your intuition, your feeling, right? A very good leader from my perspective has both. So you trained in listening to your body and really trained into using your mind at the same time. If you put those two things together, you can make decisions very fast with a high likability of making a right move. Let's say in a chess play, if you get put under pressure, because your body tells you something and your mind also tells you something and you kind of have the ability to align those two. And that's what's made with being able to decide within certain breaths, listening to your body and your mind at the same time. Definitely. I would like to use the very last few minutes just to mention one thing. We were focusing very hard on body and mind, but there is also a few more components, which means that you need to sleep properly. Unfortunately, not enough sleep will cloud your judgment. And you will not really judge in the same way, not that efficient and thought through. You need to think what to eat. I'm not saying everyone should eat quinoa all day. There is no magic behind this. But eat what it makes you more, I would say, better human in different ways. Chop the mind. This is something that we can all can do, but I see I was just in London exhibiting with Run Events and Event Tech Live. Lots of people with wrong shoes, with wrong clothing, they are not hydrated. So I'm thinking in my age, I'm in my very late thirties, It's very, very important to be hydrated. And this is something that people just simply forgot. So this whole universe is there. Thank you so much, Julian. You're welcome, Damir. I could talk with you for hours. We did not have any questions, unfortunately, but we had a lot of positive feedback as we spoke about typical scenarios that our principal was mentioned and that we often forget. important things and they are run down by them. So people tend to agree that this is unusual. I think you showed a very interesting way. You have a very complicated website to pronounce, but it's Urban Tiger. So people can approach you there. A hundred percent. I've written it below my name. So it's written UrbanTiger.com without an A. And I'm happy to give your community, your team a free breathwork session so they actually understand how to really do it. So whenever you're ready and whenever you see a good opportunity, let me know. I'm happy to share that. I hope the people liked, everyone who joined liked us. We want to provide real content, real discussion, real thoughts, not created by CSGPT. Something that we want to continue. Please, if you want to hear more about this or something else, please Let us know. We will be definitely continuing this with very interesting topics in the future. Other than that, thank you, everyone, for joining. Request a demo for run events to see how amazing the platform is and get in touch with Julian to get a mental six pack. Thank you for watching. Thank you, Damir. Thank you, community.